Only Veterans know
Max´s internal sea was a rising tsunami as his flight boarded for Miami.
He heard himself silently saying to himself,
he could not get any wife out of the woman he was married to.
Max knew the how and even why.
He was on guard to prevent his ship being flooded under a gray sky.
His heart had regained some feeling, a little above numb,
after prolonged resource ravaging stealing.
Even now he could not bring himself
to fully blame Heather for the concealing revealing.
What a devastation it had to be to her ego,
sixty plus and change of life still turning your pages.
He was expected to freeze in time,
space and nature,
though not of nature´s bidding.
Rejecting and pushing away her faithful long*suffering companion.
There was no earthly fix, you either find a way through
or exit that chaotic mix.
Crazy headiness driven by unsteadiness
undermining any bed readiness.
Max observed a single tear on his cheek from a distance.
A bronco bucking dim candle,
weaponized love handles
no gym could wrangle.
An ongoing emotional tangle.
Max heard his own thoughts saying,
in all this time he had not spoken,
Her body looks the sexy same but where was her game?
Why was everything a problem:
the remote, her cell, her computer, apps etcetera?
Any and every conversation was on a war footing
with emotional looting.
There was no conscious blame.
He knew things would never be the same.
The path back had gone lame.
The Heather he knew was gone.
The previous persona personified undone.
In this nature´s storm,
its creative process of fashioning a new fit for purpose,
there was no elixir cup
amidst the brewing hormone mix,
only an ongoing eclipse.
Whose shadow fell dark across his life
while with others conversations of sunlight disallowed dark ellipse.
Max realized it was useless trying to restrict his inner voice.
He had silenced it too long
battling to keep a balanced emotional invoice.
Max observed a single tear on his cheek like an absent tenant.
Was that tear for him or her.
They had been sneaking up on him.
Had his heart regained ground and where was his vim?
Relations were on the road to dim.
He heard his inner voice espousing a philosophy.
The Heather he knew had deconstructed at nature´s site
and the emerging persona not yet done,
a familiar stranger with a familiar face
but someone different inhabited that address.
The damn devil had gotten in too Max was sure.
Heather´s psychology had never been divinely pure.
There was no there and
there was not even there.
Max´s internal dialogue seemed at this departure
to have closed its epilogue.
Max spoke for the first time,
to himself.
Case closed,
reclined his seat and dozed.
The plane climbed for altitude through a light rain.
Somewhere in sleep´s dimension Max dreamed his pains away down a drain.
CI*34561920941 Knight Truelove Poems
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Carving Me Up
You could have walked
Long before
My heart split in two
Whether too terrified
Or secretly delighting
In carving me up
Karma will serve you up
Deep in act two.
You needed the attention
This foolish simp
Could provide
While pining for another man
To give you a ride
You've been dying for
Ever since your ex
Left you behind.
Always there for you
Without missing a beat
Never asked once
For anything in return
Perhaps that's why
I went askew
When the obsession
Burned through
My conscience
And the head that
Used to be on shoulders
Was being kicked
In whatever direction
You felt was just.
They keep saying
Truth shall set me free
Yet want to bolt the doors
Seal the windows
And curl up into
A ball
And sleep this despair off.
So sorry for breaching
The contract
By not being
The man of your dreams
Just a bag of skin
With a child's disposition.
Not even a conscience
Stops you floating carefree
Through the air
Until an itch
Comes out of nowhere
To stare into another man's eyes
And turn him into stone
Only then
Will I be released
From your grasp.
P 7 2 25.
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From The Files Of Derange
Don't want to be
A crossed out entry
In a black book
Or a yawning obituary
In a dead file
Nor sashay down
The stage
Like a piece of meat
To be bought
Then slaughtered
When I'm deemed
Past my prime
Where parts
Ate thrown into
A pot and boiled
For ravenous consumption.
Dont confuse me
With those thugs
A 4th rate Gestapo
Rounding up the innocent
Throwing them in cages
But too scared
To reveal their faces.
A man without morals
Is an beast
That will be tamed eventually
When he's put through
The degradation of
Being treated as a less
Than waste of space
Only tolerated when
His vote is needed
Walking 20 paces
Cheating when
Its 18 only to discover
That like the synapses
In his brain
The gun had blanks.
Many giving advice
But you don't listen
You're too important
To be seen with someone
That doesn't represent
Success
But don't shoot the messenger
When you're led to the town square
And executed for crimes
Against humanity
For lack of empathy.
Cause the days
Of carte Blanche
Screw the little man
Perverting the constitution
With demonic visions
Of a fascist celebration
Are coming to an end.
P 1 17 26
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The SECRET, In Our LIFE--And--LIVING, Of True BLISSFUL--Happiness
The SECRET, IN OUR LIFE & LIVING,
To * FEEL, ======== Sweet,
BLISSFUL*HAPPINESS,
and Merry JOYFULNESS,
Is TO SMILE
Away, Every Hurtful
F E E L I N G S,
That Brings US
A Deep Seeded
# Disappointing
FLOOD of
Fears And
TEARS=[[[]]]< >>
When DEEP Troubles
Shall DEVASTATINGLY
````````````````````````COME*[[[]]]<
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Lighting the World
Do all things without murmuring,
That you maybe be innocent;
To be blameless without grumbling,
Unto God be obedient.
Be sons of God without blemish,
Inside of this perverse nation;
A genesis did abolish,
And causing a devastation.
You must shine as lights in the world,
Holding fast to the Word of life;
So that as God’s plan is unfurled,
The day that Christ combats the strife.
Be proud I did not run in vain,
In your labor like giving birth;
That seems to be causing much pain,
For sanctification of earth.
Although I’m poured out as a drink,
Like a sacrificial offering;
I rejoice of my faith to think,
In the joy to Christ, it would bring.
Likewise, to you for this cause,
You should rejoice also be glad;
Being cleansed and free of any flaws,
No longer need in feeling sad.
Copyright © 2026 Richard Newton Sherrer
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Tragedy In The Making
Waiting
In the bowels
Of an alleged self created hell
With sweat
Pouring
And wounds bleeding
Contemplating
Going another 15 rounds
With you.
But you're not eager
To spar once more
Wanna take a break
Neither of us are
In our right mind.
But I'm the only one
Transparent enough
To take the heat
It's been that way
Long before we
Dared to meet.
Wasn't so much courage
To contend
For a title shot
Nor the guts
Spewed on the mat
But just a chance
To be with you
In this arena
Without all the
Distractions in the room
You've been able
To hide behind.
Even though
Nothing changed
In the equation
Single and proud
You must admit
When I'm not around
That you enjoyed
The challenge.
Perhaps in a different time
With a new face
We could have erased
All that ignorant waste
That had been dumped
In places without permission
To ensure that conditions
Though losing support
Would still hold advantage.
Alas, intuitively
A notion that I
Don't want to emerge
That it's doubtful
We'll ever converge
On the same landscape
With fiery intensity.
My memory of you
Never to be erased
Even with a lobotomy
I swear upon my heart
That I could complete you.
Can't shake
The ghastly feeling
That you'd be competing
With ghosts
And why walk
Into some others melee
When you're deserving
Of someone you can boast about
Devoted without question
And not tethered to an illusion
That though enchantingly beautiful
Is a tragedy in the making?
P 7 16 25
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Grip On My Soul
Can't conclude
No longer interested in you
But it's a losing situation
These eyes need rest
Given my central nervous system
For a reciprocation
That is only
A now and then.
What was a promising beginning
Has sputtered to an ending
That isn't as dramatic
As I wanted
With you in my embrace
Within a heart
That bloomed
Now aches only for you.
But you refuse
To intervene
To heal
Or break in two
It's this unknown
Driving me batty
Cause I have no control
You hold all
The cards
And the grip on my soul
Remains agonizing.
That deep feeling inside
Tells me it's gonna be alright
I'll make it through
There's no one else
Spending the night
But keeping a space beside
If you ever change your mind.
I am holding out
For a miracle
But can't continue
To wait for an oracle
That was never meant for me
As the flame is dying precipitously
You choose not to reignite.
P 6 14 25
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Regrette Rien
Relict of a past century
Facing the situation
Of a fast approaching
Sense of actual isolation.
Most friends are dead,
Contemporaries gone,
Less and less of us left
As years have moved on.
I have been so lucky,
Life has been kind
I still enjoy the use of
A full and active mind.
I can listen to the music
Of wind through the trees
As leaves softly whisper
In the slightest breeze
I can enjoy the delight of
My grandchildren growing
Well aware of the fact
My life is slowing.
Made a few mistake
Bit not really very maby
Life could´ve been boring
If I´d not made any.
Mentally twenty one
Not quite a physical wreck
But I can still freely move
So what the heck.
When it´s time to go,
I hope just not yet,
I´ll go into the darknes
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